Relationships are weird and confusing. One minute you’re happy and together and in sync and the next, you just don’t care. I mean, in the beginning its pure joy, he’s texting almost all day long, acting like he can’t bear to be without you for long periods at a time, bringing up flimsy reasons to just be with you and all of a sudden…..it stops. Is it just me or is it wrong to demand that you maintain the tempo?
Also, when does one draw the line between fighting for love and trying to keep ones dignity? Is it after the repeated unanswered, unreturned calls, or when you realize that you’re the only one doing all the reaching out? Is there a rule book for these things? What am I even saying, there’s always a relationship “expert” telling women what to do.
Even in friendships it’s the same. Am I supposed to like someone I can’t stand just because they’re friends with my friends? Honestly, I’m not even someone that can pretend to like someone but for my friends I’ll be willing to try. What is the proper etiquette for someone you’re barely familiar with calling you a nickname she has no idea of its origin? I’m an awkward person and when faced with an awkward situation, I either talk too much and worsen it or just go deaf-mute. I’m not kidding, I’m talking dead pan silences here.
Okay check this, I once went out with a friend. It was his friends’ girlfriend’s birthday and he wanted us to stop by. So we got there and as we were walking in, he saw his boss or something like that and pointed me to the table that he’d join me shortly. That’s how I went, said a general “hi” to everyone and sat. Now, the guy seated closest to me happened to be an acquaintance I recognized immediately but did I say a word? No. although we hadn’t met, we had spoken on the phone a couple of times but still I faced front because I don’t even understand myself sometimes. Now I don’t know what my friend was busy talking about but I kept looking back trying to get his attention until I had to send him whatsapp messages. I had a table of people, that probably thought I was some stuck up bitch, but I was chatting (actually begging) him to hurry over.
After making me plead and make promises, he finally came over and while he was making the introductions, he went “_ meet Hope, Hope meet _, you should know him”. The “I don’t know him” I retorted as an answer was hilarious. I just kept repeating the name until he finally said “The Hope_”? And that was when my mouth opened and I went on and on about how I thought he looked familiar but wasn’t so sure and the day was saved.
But really, relationships are like every other thing in life; sweet, stressful, soothing and confusing and I’m here with my awkward self just trying to navigate without capsizing.
I just put that quote up there to make me feel better about myself.