They have tried to make me think it’s a character flaw, this seriousness with which I take my relationships, but I don’t listen. I’m the type of person that can count her friends on one hand, not people I talk to or I’m familiar with, real friends. Friends that know more about me than the image I try to portray, that might be unserious and whatnot but are always there when it comes down to it.
I’ve had people come and go in my life so much so that at this point if anybody decides to leave, no fucks will be given but betrayal or abandonment from someone I call a friend is bound to hurt.
I’m writing this post because I woke up to an apology from someone that hurt me terribly last year. I’m an over thinker so if something happens , I have this sick habit of thinking myself to a heartache on why that person felt it okay to treat me in that manner and then I just shut off. I know you’ll read this, this is me saying that the fact that it was you was what hurt but like I said I’m over it. I’ve since moved on.
Of course I’m not saying I don’t hurt people, I do but as much as I hate apologizing, I do because whoever I hurt is more important than my stupid pride. And please, all apologies are not equal, you can’t call me a week after pulling some useless attitude issues with a weak af apology and call it a day. It doesn’t work that way, I know you’re very dreamy but you’re not the sun, I am (greys anatomy gets quote credit). Dude abeg, catch your sub.
All those people I’ve called, text, whatsapped and everything but you’re still choosing to hold on to whatever it is I’m apologizing for (till today I don’t still know) , please we’ll meet in heaven.
Most times we don’t understand why someone is hurt by our actions until maybe something similar happens to us. Don’t wait till then, if someone says you hurt them, you have no right to say you didn’t. They’re the ones hurting, not you so just apologize. I promise you won’t deflate because you threw your pride away.
To the amazing people I call friends, thank you for being in my life. I love you all very much.