Stay Woke Bruh!!!

On my commute to my weekly Saturday rehearsal, I boarded a cab. It was empty but I was in a mad rush and I didn’t have an alternative at the time. Anyhow, he got more passengers and we were on our way.

My first action, after putting on a seat belt is plugging in to music on my phone especially after I bought these mad (cool) headphones from one mallam like that. I think it was somewhere between Desiigner’s Timmy Turner and Rihanna’s Sex with Me that I noticed the driver was talking very seriously. I wanted to know what was so important so I stopped the music.

It turned out that he was preaching on God’s love, the need to repent , and the plans the devil had already started executing. He brought up the BVN all Nigerians were asked to do, the sim card registration , even went as far as saying our data is in Paris and everywhere else for the antichrist to access when he comes. I had questions but imagine how he’d have looked at me if I asked how he came about all that knowledge .

More than half the people on Instagram are woke, or at least they pretend to be. There’s the natural hair “wokeness”, the black lives matter and my personal favourite , the conspiracy theory gurus. Suddenly everyone is screaming culture appropriation when a white girl has braids on, it’s just hair. Relaxed sisters are bombarded with how relaxers damage the brain through whatever process, again it’s just hair. I’m a naturalista myself because my relaxed hair was too fine but I know that shit is painful .

I acknowledge the mysteries of the world, on a good day I believe the powers that be occasionally de-populate the world in form of incurable illnesses and genetically modified food but even I think people are getting just a tad paranoid.

The world has been, whether you think it came to be by God or the big bang theory, it has been and will continue to be after you’re gone. Please don’t live it bothered by things you can’t control and is it just me or does anyone else think the antichrist is a metaphor, I mean.

PS: the image of Jesus we all know is actually Cesare Borgia, the second son of Pope Alexander VI of Rome. Β The real Jesus according to history and science is actually an Afro-asiatic man.

How’s that for being woke?

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