I am a feminist. Even though people (Africans) seem to think it’s a bad thing, I believe in gender equality, in equal opportunites for both sexes and honestly, it’s kinda sad that in 2016 women are still treated as lesser beings because we have breasts and and a vagina.
Men keep telling us what to do and society is forever creating new rule books but I’m not concerned about that today, my concern is with what we tell/do to ourselves and to each other.
As individuals, we listen to everybody’s voice apart from ours. They tell us to close our legs when we sit, not to climb that tree or play “rough” so that our hymen won’t break (I’m not even kidding about this one), stay in the kitchen with mom so we’ll know how to cook for our husbands, literally pressure us right from when we’re born till we die and we keep listening. It’s so bad that when a female sees another that refuses to be cowed by the pressure, she resorts to what people do when they are intimidated by someone else’s freedom, hate.
Actually, I low key understand. You cannot give what you do not have and that’s where the family comes into play. Except by special conscious self growth effort, I really do not see how a female that grew up in the “mommy in the kitchen cooking rice,daddy in the parlour watching film” home can grow to be anything but what is her own normal. Don’t get me wrong, being that type of woman is not bad as long as it is what YOU want, not your husband, not your boss, not your family and especially not the “them”. Even though my dad is overprotective, I grew up learning that you had to pull your own and how to care for others, the value of hard work and respect . There were no illusions of grandeur , nobody ever said I didn’t have to put in work because after all I’m a girl and I could get a rich man to marry. In fact, up until recently I had put my marriage date sometime in the next 9 years because I didn’t want my goals to stop for a man.
I’ve had several discussions with guys and they say stuff like “when I get married my wife won’t work, I’ll open a shop or she can teach at a school” and when I proceed to ask if the lady in question is in agreement, all I get are blank stares. Guys, why do you people think it’s either your way or the highway? Or even when you’re looking for a job and get sexually harassed for your fine face and straight legs, or worse your coursemate tells you without batting an eyelid to stick to makeup and pageants when you jokingly said you’re contesting an election (I don’t recall your name sef but I just spit in memory of that day).
Women are smart, strong, brilliant, tender and can still decide to have eyeliner sharp enough to kill, heels higher than your standards, legs longer than your pride and whatever else she chooses to be.
I’ll agree that sometimes, this feminism is turned into what it isn’t, man hate and for that I apologize. We love you guys and all, we’re just asking to be allowed to flourish, to be our true selves. Our feminity doesn’t rob you of your manhood, just let us live.
Let us live.