Sometime last month, “babe see o, I was not born to suffer in this world, any man I’ll get married to will wash, cook and clean. If care is not taken sef I’ll not take his name”.
Somewhere in Port Harcourt “why did he send me on dis kin yeye errand eh, shebi Peter was here too, abi he cannot see that I’m a woman?”
This gender equality or is it feminism now. This need for women to be acknowledged as equal with men. This thing that has threatened to destroy relationships, platonic and otherwise.
Feminism involves various movement theories and philosophies which are concerned with the issue of gender difference, that advocate equality for women, and that campaign for women’s rights and interests. We have seen so many cases where a woman is not given the same respect or opportunities as a man, before you say that’s not the case just answer truthfully what your first thought was when you read about Kowa’s presidential aspirant, Professor Remi Sonaiya in the upcoming elections. Did something along the lines of “who be dis one? She don give husband and children food finish? Mtcheeeeeeew” not cross your mind for just a teeny weeny bit?
In workplaces you see a man being promoted and people cannot stop talking about how hard working he is but if it’s a woman , well, you know what they say. With all these injustices, it’s not hard for a woman to become a ‘feminist’.
Being a feminist in itself is not bad, it’s that it has being turned into an amazing phenomenon. Women have become so jumpy and less confident, I’m talking serious self-esteem issues here. A simple “ here, let me help you with that” is heard as “ scome, you know sey u be weaker vessel, shikom power u no get but u wan go carry generator wey big pass you, you dey find die abi so dat dem go say I allow you go carry ovaload. Common leave dat tin!!!!! You can only imagine the reply to That and after they’ll say chivalry is dead. You killed it?
From taking the stance of not taking your husband’s last name, for no reasonable excuse that he can understand, to look like a cool 21st century wife ( the things Chimamanda will cause) to shunning that male colleague that doesn’t smile or talk to you a lot, this feminism thing has been taken out of context. What happened to actually listening and hearing only the words being spoken, or being considerate of other people’s feelings, male or female? Why do women think the world is out to get them? You may not know that guy you’re actively beefing just has so much on his mind that he’s vaguely aware of people around.
Everything is not about you all the time, c’mon the world is plagued daily by disasters, natural and manmade and you think people are somewhere gathered discussing about the uselessness of your existence. We know you are important, very much that the world will be colourless without you. Believe me, the world knows so you don’t need to prove anything, except of course you need to prove it to yourself for the well being of your mental health. If that happens to be the case, by all means do, go out there and do things that you have always wanted to do but ‘one’ man told you couldn’t because you are female. Salvage your pride.
But if you’ve read up to this point and you still do not share my opinion, I have something for you. You are not equal to men. You’ve never been and you never will be. Ever read in the Bible that a woman should submit and a man should love? Will you do what a difficult boss instructs you to do, legal things that is? Will you love that difficult boss? Also you’ve heard it being said that He who finds a wife finds a good thing right? Notice its not she who finds a husband. Now you see that you are a Boss!!! The men are to please and please you all their lives. You’re not equal to men, you are far above them and always have been. Don’t be cocky now, before we’re differentiated by gender, we’re classified as humans. Be humane.
PS: I’m a woman and I’m a humanist.
I wrote this in 2015 as a guest post for Thelma Thinks and I was really proud. I still am.