Prose · Uncategorized

Caption This!

This is a story of…well..we’re about to find out

Zen Garden: Today. 

I can’t wait to see her, Dara, my wife of five years . Yes, I’m married, it surprises me even today, even now. I am a commitment phobe. Was. I was, until her.

We met under peculiar circumstances . other people would feel differently but not me, I knew I had to have her immediately i Laid eyes on her. I mean, who wouldn’t? You only need to see her. Damn, i’m already feeling the familiar throbbing… THE THINGS SHE DOES TO ME…the things she did to me.

Transcorp Hotel: 30th June 2012

Bode is my guy, the six to my five, the ying to my yang , but in a bro way ya’know. this is a no homo zone. from squeezing together in a one room apartment in uni, we’ve managed to do things right. We’re both succeeding in our fields, even though I’m more well off but we’re not suffering. you don’t appear in almost every issue of  CityPeople magazine if you’re suffering. Quintessential Lagos big boys, I would say that but that would be bragging.

Anyways, we decided to try out this double date thing. I’m just here because I want to finally meet the girl that wants to push Bode out of the eligible Eko bachelor list, she must be something because hmmm, my friend is something-er. I don’t know but we’ve had two sisters once. At once. Like, simultaneously.

My House : A little later

What can I do? I can’t stop thinking about that chic. What skin, what teeth, what smile and for the love of God, what ass?? where in the name of philandering men did Bode find such an angel. She looks like an angel but from what Bode said, she’s a freak. a freaky angel, what are the odds really? I can’t even sleep well, I’ve tried convincing him on a ménage à trois but baba no wan hear. Did I even say she thinks the dude is a saint? I’ve read my horoscope today, It says I should take charge. Take charge I will. He’s not serious about marrying her. Bode ke, please.

Bode’s Office

I don’t know why I’m here o, I would rather be out getting gifts for her. Dara. keep up guys. Anyway, I guess he wants to talk about the rumours . ”You cannot do this King, I know I share most things but not this one”

  I wonder what her favourite colour is though, she looks like a purple girl. I’ll ask Tomi and I need to get that girl something, she has tried too much. This man is still talking sha, na wa o. ”Is this the girl you want to marry? Are these not semi nude pictures she sent to my whatsapp? Forget this girl, smash and leave”. Slam dunk! Kai, Tomi baby. I owe her huge!

Zen Garden: She’s here finally

This is why I love waiting for her instead of driving out with her from home, the stares. I am one lucky man, getting to have all this for myself. I was there to comfort her when she kept calling to ask me what she did to my friend, I was there as she cried, I cleaned her tears and bought her ice cream and infused myself so much into her life she couldn’t do without me. she didn’t want to date me initially but Tomi, that girl is so sweet. Literally. It doesn’t hurt that our daughter took after her in the face department.

Yeah, back to my wife. She’s so engrossed in reading her fortune cookie that it makes me want to read mine too. Dessert was fantastic but I can’t wait. The throbbing is getting worse. ”Say nothing to anyone, you must leave the city immediately” Fear doesn’t grip me but I’m scared for my life. I’m in a taxi on my way to… I don’t even know. I can faintly remember leaving Dara at Zen.

”Hello King, was she worth it”? Lord!!!

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