Does “I love You ” trump “I respect You”?

Someone asked myself and three people what we considered more important in a relationship between love and respect. She said she read an article by an American Professor who, based on research,  discovered that 76% of men preferred a respectful woman even though she didn’t love them to a woman that loved but didnt show respect. One of us is a man so naturally we wanted to know if that was true , 76% is a lot. Not surprisingly, he said men value respect and could care less about love which is why they most times marry the submissive woman who treats them like a king.

I have questions. Can true love exist without respect? Can you claim to really be in love with someone you continually disrespect?

I’ve always said love is never enough for a relationship to thrive, I have seen too many scenarios where partners break up even though they love(d) each other greatly so I know a good relationship has to have other things going for it than just love.

I am fine with knowing that everyone doesn’t love or cannot stand me as long as I know they respect me. But all those who you know – must have at least the default amount of respect for you. It is respect for a person, their aura, their carriage, their persona, their achievements and so on that guides certain actions. If someone doesn’t care about any of these, the disrespect will be too deep. For example, an unrepentant cheating partner or a friend that is almost always putting you under the bus. If you’re in a relationship with someone and  He/She loves you but doesn’t respect you, what this means is that you are not worth much to them and where respect is absent, abuse is inevitable.This can probably evolve into emotional and physical abuse.

Respect trumps love in my opinion because most times, you can’t help who you love, it just happens. But someone that respects or admires you does so consciously because of some traits you exhibit or/and how you carry yourself and show regard for others and what you do for others and the value you create. I once read that respect is love without the butterflies. If a person doesn’t respect you, the fact that he/she loves you like crazy shouldn’t be just enough to let you settle into that relationship .

I will doubt your claim of love if the basic feel of respect is missing.I mean just think about it, respect is a fundamental trait which should be given to people in general. And forget about people, if you don’t give the same to someone you claim to love, that’s pretty unconvincing . Love cannot exist without respect. Respect is an important ingredient to any relationship, love or friendship.

What do you think guys? Can there be love without respect? Would you rather be respected than loved? Would you prefer to end up with someone who loves you but doesn’t accord you respect?


3 Replies to “Does “I love You ” trump “I respect You”?”

  1. Respect is respect and Love is love. They are not interchangeable and never will be. That being said, I demand both in any serious relationship.
    Nice writeup dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I disagree a bit about been respected for the traits or aura or some great attributes I exhude. Men prefer respectful women who are naturally respectful not someone who just respects our persons. So she respects me for what I command, what happens to my mum or my brother or friends who may not have those obviously “respectable traits”. Respectful person not a respecter of person.
    Just my 2cents.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A respectful person will not respect just anybody except those worthy of being respeced and I’m not referring to the eye service pretentious respect.

      Think back on all the people you hold in high regard and tell yourself why you feel so towards them.

      Respect is respect.


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