There is nothing pleasant about ghosting.
Ghosting is the annoying phenomenon of having someone fade on you into dust and thin air. One minute you’re in some form of romantic relationship with this person or you think you are then boom, it’s silence. Like dead silence. No calls, no texts, no mails. Some even go as far as blocking you on all soicail media platforms.
If you’ve been only newly ghosted, accept my condolences, it really is a difficult position to be in. Without realising it you may start to blame yourself for his/her disappearance. Was I too clingy? Was the sex bad? Was I that unbearable to be with? Most people like to conclude on things, we like to know the when’s and whys of things so we can better understand it and that’s why ghosting hurts so much; the lack of closure (I think closure is overrated but that’s for another day).
What if I said there are some signs to know when someone is about to pull a disappearance on you?
For one, you’re always the first to hit them up. I don’t mind texting first but I certainly will not text you first always please. It’s a pride thing. If they never miss you or think of you enough to want to see how you’re doing by initiating contact and you’re always doing the calling or texting before you guys communicate, there’s a high chance of them completely ceasing communication and there’ll be nothing you can do about it.
Secondly, is your communication always sexual? You may tell them you’re having a rough day at work and somehow the gists always comes back to how sexy you sound when you’re frustrated, that’s a clear sign that they don’t care about you just about what you can give them and when they’ve had their fill of it, they will bounce.
If your dates are always for hookups, never mind they’ll take you fine dining. As long as you guys always end up in between the sheets, then again it’s for the sex. I’m all for having sex as much as you can but if your MO is to lure girls in with the love lie so you can have your way, na wa o. Is it so hard to believe there are girls out there willing to have sex without any commitment? Don’t be a toad because you want to get laid.
Sometimes they may ghost on you because they found someone else. Or their main partner is back from wherever they went.
If they are not up for making plans with you or always find a way to escape plans with you, my dear, you’re dating your self. It may sound cliche but someone who wants to see you will see you whether they have to be somewhere at 7 am the next day.
I could go on with these reasons but I prefer to tell you what to do if you fall victim to a ghost.
If you call once or twice and they don’t call back, stop. They saw the calls and if they want to, they will call you back.
You’re allowed to text and enquire why you haven’t heard from them in a while. Once. You’re not required to stalk them on social media and spam them with likes please. You people should stop disgracing me outside.
If they dont respond. Babe. Move on! Dont stall your life because of the actions or inactions of a mf. You were and will continue to be without them.
If you suddenly feel unattracted to a person and would like to end things, the sensible thing to do is let them know. Ghosting on them doesn’t only say you’re selfish, it says you’re a coward too and you cannot be selfish and cowardly all at once, ahan pick a struggle.
Have you ghosted or been ghosted on? How did you feel?